Posts Tagged ‘kaimgaryam’

A Very Strange Experience!!

We see Krsna in everything. My children literally grow up with Krsna. They eat His prasadam, listens to His stories every day and treats Him as the head of family.

Though they cannot speak Tamil, they sing Pallandu pallandu for perumal everyday. Even when they fight, they go and complain to Krsna about the other sibling. They will only listen to Krsna as well. Both my husband and adiyen would use only Krsna to pacify them. They are at least Krsna-fearing🙂

My first son will start his day with Acharyar thaniyangal, Bhagavad Gitai and Pallandu pallaanu after his regular sandya vandanam. He likes our sanadhana dharma and advocates it at his school whenever he can with very happy attitude. Adiyen do not teach much as I don’t know much. But whatever little adiyen is capable to teach, Krsna blesses my children to take them with such conviction due to the mercy of acharyar.

Even at temple, if anybody gives chocolates as prasadam which most of the times, to our misfortune, contain gelatin and are loaded with other non vegetarian preservatives, to our great relief and happiness, my children will not accept or eat them. My second son, who is 6 years old is very naughty and cheeky. He will pretend to accept it to provoke me but still won’t accept it even if I ask his to do so.

I know many parents would say their children sing very well, play instruments very well, say hundreds of slokam very well. These are the joys of parenthood and only mothers can understand what joy this bring out even though many think it is mere bragging. I see nothing wrong in it for these things only encourage children to do them more. In psychology it is called positive reinforcement and positive conditioning.

One thing that brings such a joy to adiyen is, they trust Krsna completely and treat His prasadam and Him one and the same. They will never compromise on prasadam:) This may sound ordinary for someone who live in divya desam but for children who grow up in western countries, this is such a challenge.

I consider my first son as the Guruvayoor kannan’s prasadam as we went to Guruvayoor first time in my life just few days after my marriage. Adiyen prayed sincerely to Guruvayoor kannan to come with me even if I have to go to Australia.

My first son, Pranav is also a very humble child. At least so far 🙂 in spite of turning a teenager this year 🙂 Today (November 9th) he came home and enquired me what adiyen would do if somebody slipped $50.00 into my bag and go away.

I told him I would give it back. He then asked me what I would do If I were in a train and that some body got down very quickly at the next station after slipping in the money.

I asked him straight away what the matter was. He said he was doing some school work on his lap top while sitting on the steps of the train. School children are not allowed to sit on seats in trains in Sydney as the tickets are free for them 🙂 The seats are for the passengers who buy tickets 🙂!! I wonder whether there is any rule for the passengers who buy tickets through discounted fair, like one leg on seat and another hanging!!!

When the next stop was announced, a middle aged man who appeared to be decent, went past him. For a brief second, he stopped by my son and he slipped something into my son’s packet and said “Buy a nice pair of pant or shoes, May God bless you” and then he rushed out to get down.

My son said he was really worried and scared in the beginning. Then he was taken aback as he realized the man had placed $50.00 into his shirt pocket!! This is a huge money for a kid, at least for Pranav as we don’t entertain pocket money!

When he told me, I did not know how to react being a community worker myself. I was very alarmed. I enquired to see if there is any risk of harm.

Why him? I was slightly panicked. I looked at my son and he looked fine to me. He wears his school uniform which says that he is going to one of the tops schools in Sydney, in fact No.2 in Sydney!! He carries his laptop (surface pro) and looks pleasantly dressed. So he definitely does not look like a poor child or under poverty!!! The only thing that might differentiate him from other kids is his shika (tuft / kudumi). So I was very concerned.

Even his shoes appeared to be fine though looked slightly battered. Schools in Sydney are of high standards and won’t let the students attend them if their dress code does not meet their standards.

He said his friends joked him that he should dress better 🙂, perhaps with designer brands! and even I wondered I must have ironed his uniforms !!!

As a concerned mother and a community worker, I called emergency and reported this incident. The police asked me whether I wanted to lodge any formal complaint. I told them ” no ” as I did not know the intention of the gentle man and did not want to cause him any nuisance as he might be really a loving and caring person. So no complaint was made against him but the incident was ‘reported’.

As a psychotherapist, I tried to work out the intention behind it the other way. My son might have reminded him of someone in his family or someone he had cared once or someone he had missed so much. Perhaps he might have thought Pranav a poor refugee child who is working very hard by the Asian/Indian appearance of Pranav!! or simply a reason he knows and only he can clarify. I tried to remain non judgmental, as my profession advises.

When my husband came from work, we explained what happened. My husband said I had over reacted by calling police.

May be. But I am a community worker ! The mystery man may be a gentle man and I do not want to suspect his noble intentions as I want to give him the benefit of doubt. Unfortunately some experience and my profession always make me little bit over cautious, over protective and over thinking 🙂

But still I was concerned as a mother. My husband and I told my son to be careful.

We are neither poor nor in need of such money. But we do know how this money can make a difference in others life. My son said he would like to give this to charity. We happily agreed to this.

Also we told him to ask the person to contact us if he happened to see the person again on train. We wanted to say our thanks to the person for his kindness and share our appreciation with him. At the same time, we also would like him to know that there might be other ways to do donation without scaring anyone 🙂. We also would like to ask the person whether he would be happy if we spent the money on Krsna and a charity run by our acharyar which we are going to do any way.

Let us see this from Krsna perspective. Where does Krsna come here? you may wonder 🙂

I can’t help but wonder such acts even if the intention is good. if the man has wanted to help, he could have donated to charity!!!! So this is rather an impulse act, not a planned one. something in Pranav must have made him do it 🙂 ( is he really looking very poorish ? , poor pranav : )

Putting aside negative thoughts and usual fears, I tried to see positive things in it. Many of my friends who are bhaagavathas told me that the person must have seen some innocence and effulgence in my son’s face. They implied that this must be from Krsna as they reminded me of the kindness in that gentle man is Krsna!!! I would love to think this way. But I am not very convinced of their suggestions 🙂 as we are nowhere near the definition of sincere bhagavathas, only trying our worst! We can do better 🙂

But adiyen told Pranav only few days ago that he should build temple for Rangamannar and udayavar in Sydney, Vamana desam as his duty to both acharyar and parents where Udayavar will be given utmost service. He was puzzled and said how he could do it. We told him not to worry and take prabhupada as his example who built many temples around world with less than 100 rupess in his pocket. Adiyen also said funnily that Lakshmi / thaayar would come by herself to build temple for her husband 🙂

I told Pranav to reassure (after a lenghty call with police) that it is just Krsna leela to prove that Lakshmi/dhanam will never be a problem if we are sincere. We realised even a small hut will be enough to conduct satsangam. Why million or billion dollar temple when all Krsna wants is patram, pushpam , palam and toyam !! So Pranav looked little convinced that he can build a temple for Udayavar.

Pranav shares his English birth day with Sri Ramanujar. On the day of his upanayanam, our acharyar gave him a book which read that around 1000 years ago, Sri Ramanujar was born on April 4th 1017. To our pleasant surprise, this is also the birth day of Pranav. What amazed us then and now is, only after Pranav was born, adiyongal took complete saranagathi at our Acharyar’s lotus feet and realized the importance of taking panchasamskaram and being a Sri Vaishnava.

Pranav’s school was quite opposite to Radha Gopinath Mandir in Sydney!!

I don’t know if Pranav sees Krsna everyday but adiyen thinks Radha Gopinath sees him every day and looks after him.

“May God bless you” is still ringing into my ear. May Krnsa bless the mystery man for his helping nature!!! Because he kind of made Pranav to understand service to Krsna is the first duty.

May Krsna bless everyone!!

Please note: Please note the intention is to create awareness within our own family to realise and relate everything is administered by Krsna and live life as a service to Him. adiyen apologises if this post makes anybody any inconvenience. RadheKrsna!

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Sri Udayavar, Embar and Kannan thiruvadigale charanam!

My mother, Janaki Ramanuja Dasyai, an inspiration for simple and humble Acharya Bakthi!

Radhe Krsna all,

Adiyen was always closer to my dad and we both would discuss on anything up, down and on the planet with such a vigour for hours together. My dad would recite all 700 slokas from baghavad Gita from his memory upside down given a chance. Not only Bhagavad Gita, he would talk from  Henry O H to Arundati Roy and do a post-mortem on their works. He would talk about Amartya Sen and do an analysis on him in comparison with P Chidambaram while discussing  how the works of Sri Rama Krishna Paramahamsa had been different from that of Mahadma Gandhi. He would analyse Satyassodanai and Agni chiragugal and present his reviews on them with Krsna-focus. Of all the traits and qualities that could be inherited from parents, adiyen also acquired discussing or debating hours together about things that would not benefit my own self let alone others:) Adiyen now feel most of the things I have done in my past are useless. I do find my peace when engaging in  services and while singing krsna -bajans !

My father realised this fact as he aged and still could not change his habits so he kept on reading other ‘so called intellectual books’ as well apart from what Azwargal and great devotees of Sriman Narayana contributed to liberate the bondages of the souls. He would advise me to be bold and not to be disturbed by what othes would say If I continued to do what brought me my peace. My father attained parama padam and udayavar Thiruvadi on a fine Ekadasi day like a yogi and left my mother little pension as well a box of books in his place in his place to look after herself.

Adiyen never held my mother with such an awe or big respect as only thing she was able to discuss was recipes. She would go on explaining step by step procedure to make vendaikai vatrak kuzhambu and ennai kathiraikkai kariyamudhu but She could not even tell acharyar thaniyan from her memory. Only Azwar’s song she knew were pachchai mamamali pol meni, and couple of thirupavai. She will use nithyanu santhanam book to perform satrumurai.

Lucky She could say Krishnashtagam from memory and would sing it often later when she realised she should not sing few songs in the presence of orthodox Goshti.

Otherwise if anyone asked my mother to sing a bhagavan song, she would sincerely sing ‘gangai karai thottam kanni pengal koottam , Kannan naduvinile “ or “ katrinile varum geetam” which would cause kind of embarrassment to adiyen as she chose to sing movie songs rather than Azwar songs. She would, in fact, sincerely and seriously say it would be nice if someone set light music (catchy movie style tunes without the intricacies and nuance of karnatic music) to divyaprabandam so she could learn.

Adiyen started becoming closer to my mom only after adiyen got married, not just because of the distance between Australia and Baratha varusham , but because adiyen also became a mother soon after my marriage. Adiyen understood the essence of ‘motherhood’ and speciality of a mother only after experiencing it.

During my childhood and college days, my mother was very independent. She would make pickles, papads, paruppu podi vagayaras (varieties), sweets and snacks to people who lived around us as they all liked her kai pakkuvam (cooking). She, honestly, would not have made any profit except putting her own savings as she used idayam gingelli oil and pure Uthhukuli ghee to make these preparations. She would not even include expenses like labour, bill on gas and electricity as she would cook them late night after we all slept, and auto charges to bring the items home.

If priya pickle, a famous Indian pickle company, sells a bottle (of pickle) for Rs 50, she would give her pickles almost free for every one as most of them would buy it from her saying they would paylater  ‘the mere Rs 20 ’ she would charge for the one kilo jar of to cover her basic cost as she neither bothered to measure them nor would hunt down her friends to get her money back.  She took happiness in distributing His prasadam.

My father had many fights and arguments with her that she was putting her health also at risk by straining so hard at kitchen. But none of his remarks stopped her from continuing her passion. She still does it in spie of what her daughters say wheenver her health permits.

Recently, she has started distributing books also. She would buy them from local retailers and give it as a gift / donation on occasions instead of other material things.  She would sell them for a profit of low margin.  She distributes thirupavai, visnu sahasra namam, nithyanu santhanam, divya prabandam and bhagavat gita to people who are interested in reading them. A woman who is not interested in reading any books now give away books either as distribution or for a low profit so she could contribute a little to her Acharyar from her own efforts itself as she lives only on the mere pension which my father left for her.

Recently, she made 1000 rs profit or loss(?) from her kaimgaryam and visited the mutt of Acharyar to contribute. She was little unsure but adiyen encouraged her to do what she wanted to do. A little kaimgaryam, but reminded me of the kaimgaryam of Kuchela who took handful of flat rice to Krsna and anil / udutha /Squirrel bakthi during the construction episode of Ram Setu in Sri Ramayana.

She says ‘cheyi kaalu bagunde thaaka’ meaning until her hands and legs are in good shape, she would like to live on her own and does not need any donations from her daughters and son-in-laws to serve her acharyar and continue her kaimgaryam.

Yes, she still can’t recite acharyar thaniyan from her memory, not to mention about her lack of interest in reading any books. But she has distributed more books and prasadam than anyone adiyen has  ever come across, kaimgaryams(services) to wipe off the mental and physical hunger.

To date, She remains as one of the very humble devetees I have ever come across. Nowadays adiyen is not embarrassed when she sings ‘gangai karai thottam’ at our koyil azwan sannidhi. Because adiyen know Krsna is more happy and content with her ‘as it is’ bakthi. She made me realise she might be one of “arivondrum illatha aaikulaththu pengal” .

Adiyen is only an imitation before her but hope adiyen will be able to follow her foot steps and remain inspired in wherever possible.

Before finishing this note, adiyen is listening to her recipes with more dedication and try them for our Ranga Mannar and have started collecting them as well.  Adiyen realised it is my mother’s bakthi and simplicity which helps me every day to get closer and closer to Krsna and serving acharyar, bhagavathas and Bhagavan.

Adiyen still miss the satsangam of my father very much, but adiyen miss the satsangam of my mother more than I would ever admit.


கறவைகள் பின் சென்று கானம் சேர்ந்து உண்போம்

அறிவு ஒன்றும் இல்லாத ஆய்க் குலத்து உந்தன்னைப்
பிறவி பெறுந்தனைப் புண்ணியம் யாம் உடையோம்
குறை ஒன்றும் இல்லாத கோவிந்தா உந்தன்னோடு
உறவேல் நமக்கு இங்கு ஒழிக்க ஒழியாது
அறியாத பிள்ளைகளோம் அன்பினால் உந்தன்னை
சிறு பேர் அழைத்தனமும் சீறி அருளாதே
இறைவா நீ தாராய் பறையேலோர் எம்பாவாய்


Radhe Krsna,

Ramanuja Dasyai













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